Today I went to the grocery store. I didn't have any groceries to buy, all I needed was some diapers. As I walked through the store with a bag of Huggies under my arm, all I could think of was the following line:
"I'll be taking these Huggies, and whatever cash you got."
I have been off this blog so long some people have wondered if I am still alive. First I will say that no, I have not figured out how to blog from the afterlife, which means that by default yes, I am still alive. That having been said I would like to make it clear that when I do pass on, I would like to be driven to my funeral in this:
Let's see... what's new?
Well, I'm still autocrossing every couple weeks. This is my hobby which involves driving really fast in parking lots. My daughter is almost 15 months old, and she still can't talk or walk. But she can perform complex mathematics and fix that rattle you've got coming from the engine in your Honda. So in some ways she is quite advanced, but in other ways she's more like a mime that crawls everywhere.
I'm still working, lately more than ever. I'm also still in school, however I only have three more classes until I finish my degree. Actually, I already have a 2-year degree, and I was about 3 credits short of another 2-year degree before that. Despite what you may think, they won't let you put your two 2-year degrees together and trade them in for a 4-year degree. Conspiracy.
Um, I think I have written enough for now. Since I haven't posted in so long, I doubt anyone will notice this one. In fact, perhaps I should have titled this post: "Tree Falls in Forest, Nobody is There to Hear It." But wipe that thought out of your mind right now... fuck what you've heard, that tree still makes a sound. That, I can assure you.
Later this week we are going to be visiting the family out in Seattle. Today I received an e-mail from the airline telling me that they have changed our outbound flight. No big deal, customer, you will just need to be inconvenienced and screw around all your plans to adjust to our changes. Thanks, customer! And what is also right there in the email? A reminder that if I decide to change the trip in any way I am subject to a $100 penalty.
So let me get this straight: if I want to change anything it costs me 100 bucks, but the airline can screw with you all they want for free. Lovely. Well screw those guys, I'll walk.
What the hell else is going on... I know I haven't been really doing much here lately... for the most part I have been working, sleeping, and preparing for my new/old hobby/obsession which is Autocrossing. Autocross is a motorsport which involves driving around a giant parking lot in between a bunch of cones as fast as you possibly can. That is, as fast as you can without knocking over any cones. You race against the clock and then you look up on the board at the end of the day to see if you beat the other drivers.
I know, it sounds very un-exciting. But really it is a lot of fun. It's like golf, except with fast cars. And cones. Anyway it's my way of justifying the fact that I own a sports car. It's what I do on the weekends during the summer - here's me down in Iowa a few weeks ago:
P.S. my wife would like you to know that the letters and numbers on the side of the car? She made them herself. I must say they do look quite nice!
First, let me say that I think daylight savings time sucks. It's a stupid throwback from a time when people wanted to avoid burning too many candles. I wish we would just do away with the thing and leave our clocks the same all the time.
Anyway, since we have no choice but to live with the retarded-ness that is daylight savings time, all I can do is complain. And every year about this time, that is what I do. Actually, in the fall I really enjoy the time change. See, it's "Fall BACK", which means you get an extra hour of sleep. I'm all about that - because I'm a sleep-o-holic - and therefore I have declared "Fall Back" my favorite day of the year. "Spring Forward" however, can kiss my tired ass.
The thing is, this year I realized something. My love/hate relationship with fall back/spring forward is completely artificial. I learned this because the baby does not know what the clocks say - she sleeps the same no matter what. And that's just it: this year I haven't been getting shit for sleep anyway. What's one less hour?
Yes, my car is trying to kill me. Every time I get out of my car, I get shocked to death. They are some of the worst static shocks I have ever felt - and I'm currently trying to find a way to avoid them.
I have learned that supposedly if you touch your key to the body of your car when you get out, the shock will exit to ground through the key, not you. However, I guess every time I try this my finger is touching something, because I still get nailed.
Does anyone know any other tricks? Because this shit is getting old.
