Plastic Porkbone

Death Metal SpongeBob

This is the funniest thing I have seen on YouTube yet:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-NQI3BSVOKM

Canadian Music Sucks

As you can see it’s been quite a few days since I've posted. Many of you probably think my visit to the dentist killed me. As it turns out, I have actually been watching the Olympics every night (plus school, plus work, blah blah blah). Yes, unlike millions of “Americans” who would rather watch Dancing With the Stars, American Idol, or Survivor, we watched the Olympics. Because we have brain cells.

So for those of you who were watching other stupid shows (instead of the moderately stupid show that is sometimes the Olympics), Sunday night was the closing ceremony. As is tradition in this ceremony, the host country (Italy) puts on a strange party, then they invite the host of the next Olympics (Canada) to make their presentation. Here’s where it gets bad.

For anyone who did watch the closing ceremony, I will not even discuss the uninspired Native American invitation, or the jugglers with the giant Styrofoam blocks. Because what happened next was the biggest tragedy for our slightly brain-damaged neighbors to the north.

It’s time to really “wow” the world… it’s time to pull out all the stops… who, of all people, will represent Canada for the whole world to see?

Avril Lavigne.

Is that the best you’ve got, Canada? Avril Lavigne? The poster child of the corporate music conglomerate boardroom think tank? The mall-punker who sings pop music but calls herself the “Johnny Rotten of this generation?” Is this the best music Canada has to offer?

I guess Rush must have been busy or something.

GWAR-Party

Went to a GWAR concert last night.  Really, there's nothing like it.  I've seen them three times, and it's always very entertaining.  If you're not familiar with what occurs at a GWAR show, let me briefly explain.

First, they are from outer space, and they are trapped here on Earth.  They don't like humans, and of course they are very violent.  This show they killed lots of people on stage, including, but not limited to, the president, the vice president, Michael Jackson, Sharon Osborne, the pope, and some random monsters.

Actually, if you ever get a chance to see GWAR, you really should.  These guys are actually artists from Virginia who wanted to be in the special effects business and ended up in a band instead.  So they have all these giant props and perform in unbelievable costumes.  Also I believe they are banned from performing in their hometown.

When I was younger, I thought GWAR was cool because they killed stuff on stage and spewed "blood" all over the crowd.  As I get older, I start to see the politics behind the band, and I appreciate them even more.  Their newest album is called "War Party" and is actually quite relevant, in a twisted sort of way.  You know, in the "We were planning on killing the entire human race, but you guys are so stupid you're killing each other - so thanks for the help" sort of way.

When you dig a little deeper, you realize that they are quite liberal, normal guys, with a twisted sense of humor.  For example, the lead singer's website has, among other things, rants about the Bu$h administration, the stupid war, the stupid things he has done, and how much Richmond, Virginia sucks. 

So anyway, fun times. 

Watermelon Smash

We bought a couch today, finally ... and I went to IKEA and bought some more stuff.  Because I have to.  The store was calling me.  Plus I got a bonus because the lady at the checkout didn't scan all my boxes. WOO!  It's like theft, only not my fault!

In music news, a friend of mine brought this to my attention, and I must pass it on. Following in the steps of Dread Zepplin, (remember, the reggae Led Zepplin parody) as heavy metal cover bands gone strange, it's...

Metallagher.

Yes, take a Metallica cover band and substitute striped-shirt-wearing comedian Gallagher as the lead singer.  Apparently they smash watermelons between songs.  They are local to Minneapolis, so one of these days I want to check them out.  Here's their website for more pictures!

In real music news, Here's a song I enjoy at the moment.  Don't know if you've ever heard it, but it's a nice little ditty called Cattle and the Creeping Things.  Nice title! 

ENJOY!

Bob-Riffic

My brother-in-law "Grand Pastor J"  asked me why I haven't written anything about Frank Black's new album, Honeycomb.  The truth is I have been distracted by several things, including, but not limited to, a new baby, a new house, the in-laws visiting the new house, a week long business trip, and full-time school.  But none of that is more distracting than confirmation of a new Pixies album.

Yes, it appears that the finest rock group to ever pick up geetars and strum is planning a new album.  People who are pro-reunion say it will rock, and people who are anti-reunion say it will suck.  They say it will "tarnish their image."  In a way, I can see it both ways, but as a music lover, I say "if the album contains good music, then bring it!"  Is this group capable of putting out a bad album?  The die-hard Pixies fan in me is somewhat nervous, however, because you never know.

Speaking of new albums that may or may not suck, the Posies have a new album, which seems to be pretty good.  It's not as good as "Failure", "Dear 23" or "Frosting on the Beater" but it's decent.  And Bob Mould has a new album too, but I haven't heard the whole thing yet.  What I have heard so far is delicious, but that's BOB for you.

Music game:
Rank famous music BOBs in order of importance:

__ Bob Marley
__ Bob Mould
__ Bob Dylan
__ Bob Seger

 

R!

Styro mentioned the Smiths on her website.  I don't much like the Smiths, and apparently neither does she.  So anyway, I thought I would post a song here.  Never tried that before.  So here's a Smith's song, except performed by someone who isn't so whiny and annoying as Morrissey.

"Big Mouth Strikes Again" by TREEPEOPLE

Enjoy it, pirate!

Curses!

ni93 has "remixed" the most classic Gangsta Rap album of all time Straight Outta Compton by N.W.A.  Basically, he left in all the curse words, and edited out everything else.  It's not for the kiddies, but it's funny as hell to me.

This was one of the Links of the Week over at Speckfuckingtacular.  However, it is finished now, and worth checking out.  Here's the site...

a pixies story

They are my favorite band of all time. They always have been, and last year the unthinkable happened – the band reunited. I used to say that Nirvana had a better chance of reuniting (get it?) but it turns out I was wrong. Anyway, in early February 2004, I learned that the first show of the reunion tour would be in Winnipeg, Manitoba, so I bought two tickets. I honestly had no idea how far Winnipeg was from Minneapolis, but luckily it was only five hours. I was ready to go.

Surprisingly, a month ahead of time the pixies announced a new first show in Minneapolis, at a little club called the Fine Line. The tickets sold out in minutes, and the only way you got any was if you had been in the right place at the right time. Luckily, there are good people in this world, and a friend of mine from the Frankblack.net forums sold me two tickets at face value. It was thanks to this act of generosity that my wife and I were three feet away when the pixies stepped out on stage for the first time in 12 years.

After the historic show, we piled into the car and hauled ass for Canada. We crashed for a few hours, and made it to Winnipeg at about 11:00am the next day. (Oh, by the way, Winnipeg sucks. At least in April it does). We ate lunch, went straight to an Irish pub, started drinking Guinness, then walked en masse down to the show. For the second night in a row we saw a kickass show, walked back to the pub, then to the hotel, then got back in the car the next morning and returned to Wisconsin.

Later in the year the pixies returned to St. Paul, and we saw them again two nights in a row. The shows were bigger, but no less brilliant. I bring this up because the pixies are going out on tour again this year. If you live anywhere near Seattle (and I know all three of my readers do!), you really need to go to the Sasquatch festival at the Gorge. This will be the concert of the year in the Northwest – the Pixies and Modest Mouse are headlining.

Pixies will also be releasing a 2-DVD set this summer as well, and some people think a new album (produced by Tom Waits?) may also be in the mix, but I’ll believe it when I see it. Regardless, you must do everything in your power to see this band perform.

Thanks to Matt  B. for his pictures... I snaked them straight off his site.  If you are interested, he has tons of really cool pictures  of the pixies on stage at both these shows.

All Hail the Nintendo Entertainment System

This is a single from Beck's upcoming album -- well, actually it's a remix of one of the songs on his upcoming album -- Guero. The song is called E-Pro, and this remix is called "Bad Cartridge." All the samples in the song are basically 8-bit Nintendo sounds.  In case you don't know this already, nothing is cooler than the fusion of music and old-school video games.

If you haven't heard this yet, you must. Click here to listen.  This version is available on an 12" called "Hell Yes."  If you're crafty or if you have a few dollars, you can get it online.  ENJOY!

A Radio Station Worth Listening To

If you had asked me two months ago if there was such a thing as "a radio station worth listening to," I would have said no.  Well, at least if you exclude Internet radio stations.  Okay, and little tiny AM stations don't count.  And if you broadcast illegally, or if your listening area is smaller than a city block -- that doesn't count either.

What I'm talking about here is an actual FM radio station that is worth listening to.  It is operated by Minnesota Public Radio (excuse me?) and it is the answer to all my musical prayers.  In fact, listening to this station has allowed me to briefly put on hold my elaborate plan to destroy ClearChannel Communications.  It has also delayed my purchase of Sirius satellite radio.  They also have a high-quality Internet music stream available here.  So give it a listen!

While you are listening, read this article about the station.