Plastic Porkbone

Baby From Hell

 

My daughter has taken to reading "big kids" books.  Most recently she has been checking out The Big Book of Hell, which is a good read.  She also enjoys Shakespeare, some Sci-Fi/Cyberpunk fiction, as well as just about anything else she can pull off the shelf.

She also had a map of Chicago laying out on the floor the other day.  Not sure what she's planning, but I hope it's not a terrorist act.

Finally, below you see Alison reaching for a copy of "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot" by Al Franken.  Wise choice, I must say.  Wise choice.

The End of All Things

I regret to inform you that this country is filled with a bunch of heartless bastards.  If you remember, over a year ago I created a post called Trendy Awareness, which accused everyone of pretending to support things by putting magnets on their cars, or by wearing plastic bracelets.  This caused quite a ruckus, and people explained that no, it wasn't just a trend, this is how we are showing our support for things.

What I'm referring to are such things as yellow magnetic ribbons and little latex bracelets (the trend begun by Lance Armstrong), claiming support for every cause under the sun.  15 months later, here is my rebuttle.

APPARENTLY NOBODY CARES ANYMORE.  Yes, news flash... spend any time on the freeway these days and you will realize we have a serious problem here in this country.  Put simply, people have become heartless bastards.  The number of "Support our Troops" ribbons sighted on automobiles is at a record low, as are "Support your local Firefighter", "Diabetes Awareness" and "Autism Awareness" magnets.  In fact, in an unscientific survey conducted by me, yesterday, I counted only one person in my 3 hours of freeway driving who still cares about the troops. 

Worse yet, apparently most people have stopped caring about cancer as well.  A year ago I knew at least 10 people who regularly showed support for cancer research by wearing "LiveSTRONG" bracelets.  Sadly, I have seen ZERO LiveSTRONG bracelets in the past several months.  Apparently people are no longer concerned about finding a cure!

This is a horrible trend in this country!  People no longer support finding cures for terrible diseases, and they don't care about our troops overseas! 

That is... unless I was right all along... that these magnets and bracelets (made in China) were simply a FAD, expolited by all the companies and retailers involved in the distribution chain to make huge sums of MONEY.  In the end, you know I'm right... and you knew I was right 15 months ago. 

Just like I was right about the Atkins diet, you fat, carbohydrate eating bastards!

Death Metal SpongeBob

This is the funniest thing I have seen on YouTube yet:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-NQI3BSVOKM

Covert Recycling

I get annoyed by things. 

One thing I get annoyed by, are shopping bags.  Everyone always asks you if you want paper or plastic.  For a while I was using canvas bags, so I could avoid the question altogether, but I would always forget to bring them to the store.  Now, I generally go with paper, because they are easier to recycle... in theory.  But the problem is, I end up with a million paper bags at home.  I try to remember to bring them with me, but I can't remember every single time.

So now I have taken up a new hobby I like to call "covert recycling."  This is where I go to the store with about 25 paper bags.  I bag my groceries in about 5 or 6 bags, then I place all the other bags on the shelf where the "new" bags are.  Even though it is a perfectly fine thing to do, I always feel a little sneaky every time I do it.  But when I get home, that's 20 less paper bags in my closet!

Oh, and another thing I get annoyed by?  People who drive their cars on the freeway with their FOOT out the window.  "Oh, hey!  Look how relaxed that guy is - he's leaned back and is sticking is foot out the window!  While he's driving!"  Personally, I think that guy's an idiot.  And to prove it, one of these days I'm going to swerve into his lane and hit my brakes.  I'd like to see how fast his reaction times are with his left leg out the damned car window.

Holy Shit

So, this weekend there's this concert going on in St. Paul.  It's called Sounds of the Underground, and includes the following bands: AS I LAY DYING, IN FLAMES, TRIVIUM, CANNIBAL CORPSE, GWAR, BEHEMOTH, and many others. 



In the same convention center, literally in the same building, is this event: http://www.christianfair.com/


I was thinking about going to the concert, but unfortunately it looks like I won't be able to.  It's too bad, really, it would be worth it just to see the clash between the Christian Community Fair-goers and the satanic metalheads!