Trendy Awareness
Maybe it's true... maybe all I ever do is rant about stuff. However, sometimes I feel like I am -- to quote my favorite doctor, Dr. Evil -- "surrounded by frickin' idiots!" What annoys me today? What's the bandwagon of the year? In 2001, it was "9/11 - United We Stand." In 2002-03, it was anything with the American Flag on it. Now, it's advertising your favorite charity/cause on your car/wrist!
To those of you who do not live in the Midwest: are these stupid ass car magnet ribbon stickers becoming a problem where you live? First it was a yellow ribbon for "support our troops." (Of course, for most that was just a "Bush/Cheney" sticker in disguise). Then you had the half yellow, half red/white/blue flag ribbon. Sort of the "I support our troops, but I also love the good old U.S.A.!" Then we had the black POW/MIA ribbons. Now it has gone too far.
Today I saw for the first time the puzzle-patterened Autism Awareness ribbon, and the silver diabetes awareness ribbon with the drop of blood on it. I have also seen "ADHD Awareness" "Support your Animal Shelter" and "Firefighter Survivor" ribbons, just to name a few.
What bothers me about all this is that most people buy these things not because they want to donate to any particular charity, but because they feel they need to. Because it's fucking trendy. They feel like since everyone else has a stupid magnetic ribbon on their car (or five!) that they need to have one too.
I apologize if anyone reading this has these things on their car. But really, if you want to donate money to a charity, just do it! Don't pay $3 for a magnet to slap on your car, since most of the money you pay probably goes to pay for manufacturing the magnet itself and (god forbid) profit for the retailer that sold you the magnet! Instead, send three dollars to your favorite charity! Better yet, send $10!
Another recent FAD in trendy philanthropism started with the Lance Armstrong "live strong" bracelet. They started selling them for a dollar apiece, hoping to raise a few bucks for cancer research. Good for them! However, pretty soon, every disease has it's own stupid ass bracelet! For a while, I felt like an asshole at my work because I wasn't wearing one! Look at me! I don't "support" anything!! I am NOT aware of any diseases!!
But if you look at the back of my Honda, you will see that I am "aware" of the Pixies. They are a great band. I am also "aware" of my local radio station, The Current, which kicks ass. Good for me!
I fucking love you, man.
Those bracelets and ribbon magnet things piss me off. YAY YOU SUPPORT GAY AUTISTIC RESCUE DOGS! GOOD FOR YOU!
There's also a lot of discussion in the wide world of microbiology that kids with autism just never got the right intestinal bacterial colonies... It's an interesting theory and I'm curious if there was widespread supplementation of probiotics to american infant diets, if it would "cure" (or "prevent") autism?
Google autism +probiotics:
http://www.autisticsociety.org/article679.html
(Probiotics are good anyway--they help you poo!)
Posted by: styro | May 11, 2005 at 08:35 AM
Let's make a ribbon that says "Probiotics"
And no, Pork, it's not just in the midwest. They're everywhere.
Posted by: dayment | May 11, 2005 at 09:31 AM
I want a brown bracelet that says POOPING IS FUN, POOPING IS SERIOUS!!
Posted by: styro | May 11, 2005 at 09:48 AM
I actually say a tiny Japanese car, filled with a Japanese driver and passengers - with a red white and blue "I love America" or something, and yellow "God bless out troops" magnets. I was like, "Dude, no one in Japan who is politically inclined (which is a miniscule minority because the apathy here makes America look like a politically sophisticated mecca of intelligence - no joke, it's that bad) support Japanese troops in Iraq. Of which, there are like, 11 soldiers - total. Koizumi is nothing but Bush's bitch on account of export trade relations - that's it. You have practically no troops to speak of, and your country as a whole hates that Koizumi bent over and took it in the rear - AGAIN! Take of the magnet you materialistic anglophile whore!" But I had no one to say this to because I am the only American - anywhere! Bagh! Your ranting allows freedom of ranting everywhere -do not cease to rant, it's your anti-patriotic duty!
Posted by: momo | May 11, 2005 at 10:54 AM
Son,
Guess I better not wear my Livestrong bracelet when I come to visit in 2 weeks! But a guy GAVE it to me on MOther's Day and he was soooo sweet! I feel proud! I was going to buy some of the yellow ones and give them away as "pay it forward" kinds of gestures....But now? After your rant? Maybe not.
MOM
Posted by: Mom | May 11, 2005 at 02:18 PM
OUCH! The secret stealth guilt-ray of DOOM has descended upon us, Mom-Style!
Aiiiighhhh! Pardon me, I have to go pick icy shrapnel slivers of guilt out of my flesh with a pair of tweezers now.
Posted by: styro | May 12, 2005 at 08:09 AM
Sorry, Styro, didn't mean to come down so hard on the side of Mom Guilt, but I just GOT my bracelet a couple days ago. Had I known my son hated them, that they were trendily evil, I really wouldn't have wanted one. I hate PC and Trendy. But I just kind of like these little yellow bracelets.
MOM
Posted by: Mom | May 12, 2005 at 02:58 PM
Okay so you see the problem we have here:
Livestrong bracelets are good, because my mom wants to buy more of them for her friends. This is $5 that she wasn't originally going to donate to charity, now going to cancer research. However, when you are wearing one, you are inadvertently participating in a trend.
So if you "pay it forward" and buy more, you may get other people to buy bracelets that weren't planning on it before. So that's good. Then again, people think you're trendy.
I think the bottom line is this: Livestrong bracelets are OK because they were FIRST. All other bracelets are posers.
And ALL ribbon magnets on cars are stupid.
Posted by: porkbone | May 12, 2005 at 07:28 PM
*wink* Nice save, man! ;)
Posted by: styro | May 13, 2005 at 02:49 PM
Son,
Sometimes I think that you are a little hard on those that try to make for a better life. The bands, though they can be trendy, serve a great purpose. Betsy and I support CRS (Catholic Relief Services) and we believe that it is a great cause. 92% of every donation goes to those that need it. So we have our bands that we erar with pride because we see the results of thier effort.
What gets me is the ones selling the bands and none of the money gets to the cause. This happens all the time and these people should burn in hell( which I'm sure they will!)
Anyway we look forward to seeing you and the baby soon. (We will be wearing our bands)Love Dad
Posted by: Dad | May 20, 2005 at 06:38 PM
I'm not too hard on people, I just think it's bullshit that some people only support causes when it's trendy to do so. You would probably support Catholic Relief Services even without the bracelets.
Posted by: porkbone | May 21, 2005 at 03:50 PM
Son,
Wow, you got both your Mom and your Dad riled up! You are awesome, as always! Do your friends know you used to give concerts in our neighborhood and make people pay to attend them?
We always knew you would succeed in life!
Love,
MOM
Posted by: Mom | May 25, 2005 at 03:01 PM